Dear Jim,

I am writing this letter to thank you for your article, "Confessionism: The Misuse of 1 John 1:9." This is something I have believed for some time but never hear preached. Since I have no formal theological training, only a high school education, I share this understanding of 1 John only with close Christian friends and my wife. Having been brought up in "fundamental Baptist" churches and currently still active in one, I know my understanding of 1 John 1:9 is outside the commonly accepted view.

In order to tell my story I have to confess my sin, oddly enough!

When I was in my late twenties to early thirties (I'm now 47) I was in a soon to be failed marriage (my first marriage). Though I was a Christian, I found myself delving into pornography. I had always been able to resist the temptation before, but after having saved myself for marriage at 25 and then finding myself and my "needs" miserably unsatisfied, I quit resisting. As my marriage dissolved and I found that I was on my own, I only became more involved. Without giving much more detail, my habit consisted of buying magazines (always hoping no one from church walked in when I was at the register) and phone sex on 800 numbers. This was pre-Internet days.

As I mentioned earlier, throughout this time, I was a Christian and I was riddled with guilt and shame. So I found myself time and time again on my knees asking for forgiveness and promising not to sin again. Still, no matter how sincere I was, I would inevitably fail. In my mind I pictured my sin as something that came between God and me. It caused Him to be disappointed and sometimes angry with me. I believed that I had "broken our fellowship" and that He would have nothing to do with me until I "made it right" by confessing.

When I couldn't gain the victory I sought help, not directly, but through sermons. I began to hear that the reason I didn't find any victory was that I didn't really mean it. Since God knows my heart I would have to really be serious. So, when I found myself once again on my knees I tried to convince God and myself of my sincerity.

Again I failed. Then I came across the verse about how our hearts are deceitfully wicked and that we can't even know them. I thought "how can I convince God that my heart is sincere when His Word says that I can't even know my own heart?" I was beginning to lose hope of ever having victory. I was frustrated, discouraged and defeated.

Then I heard someone on the radio say that maybe we misunderstand 1 John 1:9. I don't know if it was you. Maybe if you were on the radio in the late 80's to early 90's, it could have been. It got me to thinking. I also happened to be re-reading my favorite book in the Bible, the book of Romans. I began to see how the completed work of Christ really is complete.

So the next time I found myself on my knees over the same old sin that had defeated me for so long, my prayer was different. It went something like this: "God, I am sorry for what I have done, but I am not asking you to forgive me. Instead I am claiming the forgiveness that I already have, because of what Christ did. God, I believe that this sin added somehow to the pain and agony and rejection that Jesus suffered on the cross that day for me. I believe that when you adopted me into your family you knew then how I would fail you and yet you love me anyway. God, I believe there is nothing between us because Romans tells me 'nothing can separate me from the love of God.' I don't believe you turned away from me when I sinned, as unpleasant as it may be. I believe, because of what Jesus did, You were there with me in the midst of my sin. You already turned your back on Christ because of me. Faced with this great love and acceptance, all I want to do is love You back. It's 'your kindness that leads us to repentance,' Oh Lord."

After that day I slipped maybe once or twice, but instead of begging for God's forgiveness, I started thanking Him for the grace that counts me as already forgiven! I soon found victory and have been victorious ever since.

Now at the end of my day as I go over my sins, I agree with God. I acknowledge my failures, then I thank Him for His AMAZING GRACE, not because I have to but because I want to!

Up until now, I have relied on my own understanding of 1 John. I have only been able to say to others that this is what worked for me. This is where I found my freedom in Christ. I have always thought that I was on the right path because my thinking matched that of the Apostle Paul in Romans chapters 3 through 6, where he asks the rhetorical question "what shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!"

Now I have your article. I can't express what it means for me to have someone else, especially a learned man, confirm such an important issue. I only wish more believers would come to understand the full impact of the grace of God and free themselves from the bondage of "confessionism."

In Christ, under grace,

B_______